I dedicate this article to my friend George. Do you know what a zerk is? I bet George does. I do, but until several days I ago I never knew why it was called a zerk.
Sunday the 9th of August, I headed to the Wisconsin Dells for the first time in my life as an adult. My wife was disappointed when I told her we would probably drive into a storm shortly after entering the land of Green and Gold, Packer-land. It was a blessing in disguise. When we arrived at Noah’s Ark Water Park at 1 pm there was minimal attendance. We took ride after ride with virtually no line; it was bit chilly, being only 69 degrees. What a treat it was to walk past a sign that says 90-minute wait, 60-minute wait, 30-minute wait from here, and up the stairs to take another freefall thru the water slides. There was one time we took a ride for a second time that we had to wait about 10 minutes, otherwise every ride was less than a minute or two wait. It made me wonder who would subject themselves to a day of waiting most of their time to enjoy only a few attractions on a busy day.
I also had to wonder why every single Dippin Dots stand was open and manned by employees on a day that reached a cloudy high of 72 degrees. The one employee did state that it was the coldest day of the summer. But this article is not about the famous Duck’s, Wisconsin River, Lake Delton, the fire breathing dragon at our hotel and other tourist traps. It is about grease zerks and grease guns.
Earlier this summer I told my wife I wanted a new grease gun to keep with my new tractor. She does what most people do and went to her phone and ordered me one since I had no time to run to the farm supply store. Nine hours later, which is ridiculous or amazing, depending on your perspective, a new grease gun arrived at our doorstep.
I loved it. It was a slightly different style than I had ever owned, and it worked flawlessly. The packaging claimed that all components were guaranteed for their lifetime and it was produced in Plainfield Illinois. I was elated. A locally made product; the best grease gun I had ever owned in 45 years was made in the same town my grandpa emigrated to from Germany and started farming over 100 years ago.
Driving to The Dells I asked my wife to order 6 more grease guns. When she was ordering, she stated that the same exact item may not be available. I said no worries”, order anyway. I wanted to support the local business and buy the American made grease gun.
My entire life I had bought grease guns from the farm supply store. It was a major national brand. Lately I could never seem to get the grease from the gun to easily pump into every grease zerk with satisfaction. However, my new grease gun from Plainfield fit every zerk I attached it to without any spillage and lubricated flawlessly. I thought I had the world by the tail; and with six new grease guns Cora ordered, my farm would run perfectly and squeak free.
Alas, we returned home. The next Mother Nature unleashed a storm that gave me five days without electricity and multiple electronic appliances ruined, and six new grease guns with the packaging bolding proclaiming the words, “made in China.” Words cannot be printed to state my dissatisfaction. You can now blame me for our massive trade imbalance.
Why is a grease fitting also called zerk? In 1929 Oscar Zerk patented the fitting to lubricate automobile bearings and suspension systems that became the standard of the industry. A few minor modifications and improvements occurred quickly but his design was groundbreaking and became synonymous with the term grease fitting.
George once teased me that I wrote an article about rain gauges. I hope he finds the same humor in an article about grease guns and grease zerks.
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